Breaking Free: A Survivor’s Journey Through Domestic Abuse

By May Chase

I met him when I was 25, full of hope and dreams for the future. Our relationship began like a fairytale, but three years in, subtle changes emerged. The man who once showered me with affection began to erode my self-worth with words like, “You’re trash; no one loves you.” This emotional abuse chipped away at my confidence, leaving me questioning my value.

By our fifth year together, the abuse escalated from words to actions. What started as shoving and pushing soon turned into more severe physical assaults. I remember the first time he struck me; I was in shock, unable to reconcile this violent man with the person I thought I knew.

As the years passed, the violence intensified. By our 10th year, I endured full-blown beatings. One night, after a particularly brutal attack, he locked me in the bathroom. I sat on the cold floor, bruised and terrified, wondering how my life had come to this.

Despite the abuse, leaving was not straightforward. I called the police multiple times, seeking help and hoping for change. Yet, each time, I found myself taking him back, clinging to the hope that things would improve, or perhaps fearing the unknown more than the hell I was living.

The turning point came when he nearly killed me. In that moment, something inside me snapped. I realized that if I didn’t take decisive action, I might not survive. Summoning every ounce of courage, I kicked him out of our apartment. But my fear of his retaliation and the potential judgment from others led me to rent him his own place. I was terrified he’d portray me as the villain, accusing me of making him homeless.

Even after physically separating, disentangling myself emotionally proved challenging. For three more years, I maintained daily contact, unable to sever the ties completely. The cycle of abuse had conditioned me to prioritize his needs over my safety and well-being.

Breaking free from an abusive relationship is a complex and arduous journey. It’s not just about leaving a physical space but also about reclaiming one’s sense of self and overcoming deep-seated fears. My story is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and a reminder that, even in the darkest times, finding the strength to seek help and prioritize one’s safety is possible.