Onward Intel: Different Approaches to Managing Child-Related Reimbursements
After a divorce, managing shared expenses for your child can quickly become a source of tension if not clearly outlined. From medical bills to extracurricular activities, it’s essential to establish a system that’s fair, efficient, and minimizes conflict.
There’s no one-size-fits-all solution—what works for one family might not work for another. Below are several common and creative approaches to handling reimbursements between co-parents. Each offers a different level of structure and flexibility, so you can choose what best fits your communication style, financial situation, and co-parenting dynamic.
Whether you’re drafting a new parenting plan or revisiting an old one, these methods can help reduce confusion and keep the focus where it belongs—on supporting your child.
1. Fixed Percentage Split (Most Common)
Each parent agrees to split reimbursable expenses in an agreed-upon ratio — usually:
- Proportional to income (e.g., 60/40)
- 50/50 split, regardless of income
This split should be clearly spelled out in the divorce agreement.
2. Pre-Approval Required
Some parents add a provision that any non-routine or “extraordinary” expenses (sports camps, extracurriculars, elective medical care) must be:
- Agreed upon in advance
Approved via email or a shared app
This prevents one parent from racking up bills and expecting reimbursement after the fact.
3. Monthly or Quarterly Reconciliation
Parents can agree to a specific process:
- Submit receipts by a certain day each month or quarter
- Set a deadline for reimbursement (e.g., within 15 or 30 days) This reduces constant back-and-forth and creates a predictable rhythm.
4. Shared Expense Apps
There are excellent tools now that take the emotion out of the money:
- OurFamilyWizard
- SupportPay
- Splitwise (less formal)
These apps allow:
- Receipt upload
Running balance visibility
Notifications & reminders
Easy documentation (helpful if disputes arise)
5. Expense Bank / Joint Account
Some parents set up a shared account where each contributes monthly toward expected child-related expenses. This avoids the need for reimbursements — both parents pay upfront.
6. Annual True-Up
Some parents prefer to keep informal records during the year, and then do a year-end reconciliation and payment. This requires a lot of trust and organization, and can lead to disputes if records aren’t clear.
7. Caps & Limits
You can limit reimbursement requirements:
- Set a maximum annual amount
- Require pre-approval beyond a certain cost (e.g., $250)
Key Considerations
- Be specific and clear in your agreement: What expenses qualify? How are they split? How and when is reimbursement handled?
- Consider using a neutral app to reduce tension.
- Include a process for dispute resolution if there is a disagreement about an expense.