Kids Corner: Talking to Parents About Divorce and How to Express Your Feelings
When parents get divorced, kids often have a lot of questions, emotions, and concerns—but knowing how to talk about them can feel hard. Parents may be busy, stressed, or emotional themselves, and it might seem easier to keep feelings bottled up. However, talking to parents openly and honestly can help make the transition easier.
How to Talk to Your Parents About Divorce
- Where will I live?
- How often will I see each of you?
- Will we still celebrate holidays and birthdays together?
- Do I have to switch schools?
- What happens if I want to spend more time with one of you?
💬 Share Your Feelings – Parents may not always know how you feel unless you tell them. Some ways to start the conversation:
- “I feel really sad when I think about not seeing both of you every day.”
- “I’m nervous about what’s going to change.”
- “I wish things could go back to how they were, but I know they can’t.”
💬 Choose a Good Time – Try to talk when your parent is calm and not busy with work or other responsibilities.
💬 Be Honest but Respectful – It’s okay to feel upset, but yelling or blaming won’t help. Instead of “You ruined everything,” try “I’m really struggling with all these changes.”
What If You Feel Caught in the Middle?
Sometimes, parents may ask kids to take sides, share information about the other parent, or deliver messages. This can be stressful and unfair. If you feel stuck in the middle, try saying:
“I don’t want to pick sides. I love both of you.”
“Can you talk to each other instead of asking me?”
“I just want to focus on being a kid, not your messenger.”
If a parent keeps putting you in this position, talk to a trusted adult (like a school counselor, grandparent, or therapist) for advice.
How to Talk to Each Parent Separately
- If one parent is sad or upset, reassure them that you love them but also want to have a good relationship with both parents.
- If one parent is angry at the other, avoid getting involved in their conflict. Remind them that their issues aren’t yours to solve.
If you feel uncomfortable talking to a parent, writing a letter, sending a text, or asking another adult for help can be a good alternative.
What If Your Parents Don’t Listen?
Sometimes, parents might be too overwhelmed to fully hear what you’re saying. If this happens:
Try again later
They might need time to process their own emotions.
Talk to another trusted adult
A grandparent, teacher, school counselor, or therapist can help communicate your concerns.
Write it down
If talking is hard, a letter or email might help them understand how you feel.
Final Thought
Talking to parents about divorce isn’t always easy, but sharing your feelings can help you feel heard and supported. Remember, you are not alone, and there are always people who care about you and want to help.