Onward Intel: Dividing Child-Related Expenses
Dividing child-related expenses is often one of the most confusing and emotionally charged aspects of divorce, but having clarity upfront will make a huge difference for you and your child(ren).
Here are different approaches to dividing child-related expenses both during and after divorce:
1. Basic Child Support Obligation (State Formula)
Most states have Child Support Guidelines that calculate a basic monthly child support payment based primarily on:
- Parents’ incomes
- Number of overnights each parent has with the child(ren)
- Certain deductions like health insurance or child care expenses
However, this monthly child support amount typically covers only basic needs like food, shelter, and clothing.
It may not include all the “extras” (activities, private school, sports, tutoring, etc.)
2. Extraordinary or Additional Expenses
Many parents (or the court) agree to divide additional expenses outside of basic child support. These include:
- Health Insurance Premiums & Uninsured Medical Expenses
- Childcare/Daycare Costs
- Educational Costs (tuition, tutoring, school supplies)
- Extracurricular Activities (sports, arts, camps)
- Special needs or therapies
Common Ways to Divide:
Proportional to Income – Example: If one parent earns 70% of the combined income, they may pay 70% of these expenses.
50/50 Split – Many parents agree to divide equally regardless of income.
Cap or Limit – Sometimes parents agree to share expenses but set an annual cap or require mutual agreement for large expenses.
3. Reimbursement Approach
One parent may pay upfront for expenses and then submit receipts monthly for the other parent to reimburse their share.
This can get tricky without clear deadlines and communication protocols.
4. Expense Tracking & Shared Payment Platforms
Some co-parents use third-party apps like:
These apps allow both parents to upload receipts, track expenses, request reimbursements, and avoid emotional conversations about money.
5. Creating a Child Expense “Bank” or Fund
Some parents opt to set up a joint account or fund where both contribute monthly for child-related expenses. This can minimize conflict over reimbursements.
6. Flexible/Case-by-Case Agreement
Some parents (especially those with a healthy co-parenting relationship) choose to handle additional expenses on a case-by-case basis without strict division rules, but this requires trust and strong communication.
Key Takeaways
✔️ Be Specific in Your Agreement
The more detailed your agreement is around child-related expenses, the fewer conflicts you’ll have later.
Spell out what’s covered, how expenses are split, reimbursement timelines, and what requires prior approval.
✔️ Revisit as Needs Change
Children’s needs evolve (school, medical, activities), so agreements should allow for periodic review and adjustment.
✔️ Use Tools & Transparency
Expense-tracking apps can reduce emotional tension and ensure fairness.