Should You Keep, Sell, or Buy Out Your House
This decision blends financial practicality with emotional readiness. Let’s explore the three main options:
Option 1: Sell the Home
Selling creates a clean financial break. After paying off the mortgage and any other costs, the remaining equity is split. This option provides both parties with flexibility to relocate, downsize, or invest elsewhere.
Pros:
- Ends shared financial responsibility
- Avoids complications with refinancing or property transfer
- May generate funds to support new housing or goals
Cons:
- Can be emotionally difficult, especially with children involved
- May not align with favorable market timing
- Requires coordination to prepare, list, and close the sale
Option 2: Buy Out Your Spouse
One spouse stays in the home and pays the other for their share of equity. This often involves refinancing the mortgage to remove the other spouse’s name and access cash.
Pros:
- Allows one person to remain in the home
- Maintains stability for children
- Provides continuity and emotional comfort
Cons:
- Requires the ability to qualify for a new mortgage alone
- May strain your budget or long-term financial goals
- Can trigger emotional resentment if terms feel unfair
Option 3: Co-Own Temporarily
Both parties agree to continue owning the home together after the divorce, usually for a defined period.
Pros:
- Helps avoid rushed financial decisions
- Provides stability if children are still at home
- Offers time for market conditions to improve
Cons:
- Keeps financial ties intact
- Requires clear boundaries and agreements
- May delay true independence and closure
Questions to Ask Yourself Before Deciding
Before deciding what to do with your home, take a quiet moment to reflect—not just on the logistics, but on what you need most moving forward. These questions are designed to help you move beyond surface-level decision making and deeply consider what aligns with your financial reality, emotional needs, and long-term wellbeing.
You don’t need to answer them all at once. Even one or two honest reflections can bring clarity.
Start with emotional clarity:
- What does this home represent to me? Safety? Status? Stability?
- Am I staying because it feels right—or because it feels familiar?
- Would creating a new space help me heal or move forward?
Then consider financial reality:
- Can I realistically afford the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep on my own?
- Will I qualify to refinance the home?
- Will keeping the home limit my ability to save, invest, or feel financially free?
And finally, think logistically:
- Is this home still a good fit for the life I want to build post-divorce?
- Does the location serve my future (e.g. work, school, community)?
- How long do I truly want to stay here, and what would I need to do that comfortably?
Try journaling your answers or talking them through with someone you trust. This isn’t just about the house, it’s about building a future that supports who you are becoming.
What If You Can’t Agree?
When spouses can’t agree on what to do with real estate, the court may intervene. A judge can:
- Order a property to be sold
- Award the property to one spouse
- Assign value and offset with other marital assets
If possible, work with a mediator or neutral appraiser to avoid a drawn-out court battle.
Documents You’ll Need
To properly disclose and divide real estate, you’ll need to gather a variety of documents. This includes mortgage statements, deed or title, recent property tax assessments, home appraisals, closing statements, and more. Login to Onward and go to your real estate section, where we’ll help you locate, upload, and securely store everything you need.
Final Thoughts
Deciding what to do with your home in a divorce isn’t just about numbers, it’s a decision that shapes your next chapter. With the right tools, support, and reflection, you can make choices rooted in clarity and confidence.
Onward helps simplify the financial side of divorce. We make it easier to organize documents, calculate equity, and create clear financial summaries, so you can move forward with less stress and more certainty.
You don’t have to have all the answers today. But knowing your options is a powerful place to start.
Please see our article: Dividing Real Estate in Divorce: What You Need to Know
Please see our article: Valuing Real Estate: What Is It Worth