Nesting: An Alternative Way to Co-Parent During Divorce

Divorce can be disorienting for everyone, especially children who suddenly have to adjust to two homes, two routines, and two sets of rules. Nesting, also called birdnesting, is a co-parenting arrangement designed to give kids stability while parents transition through separation or divorce.  

What Nesting Means
In a nesting arrangement, the children stay in the family home, while the parents take turns living there. Instead of kids moving back and forth between houses, the parents do. The “nest” (the family home) remains the center of the child’s life, their bed, their neighborhood, their friends, their school, while the adults manage the logistics around them.

Why Some Families Choose It
Nesting can offer children a greater sense of continuity during a major life change. It’s often used as a temporary arrangement, lasting a few months to a year, while parents finalize their divorce or find separate permanent homes. For many families, it’s a gentler bridge for the kids from one household to two.

How It Works in Practice

Parents typically:

• Maintain a shared schedule that defines who stays in the family home and when.
• Have separate “off-duty” residences (such as small apartments or staying with family) when it’s not their parenting time.
• Split expenses related to the family home.
• Agree on clear boundaries and communication rules to avoid confusion or conflict.

It requires strong cooperation and respect, and works best when both parents can communicate well and share a commitment to their children’s well-being.

When Nesting Works (and When It Doesn’t)

Nesting can be an ideal short-term solution when:

• The divorce is amicable.
• Both parents can maintain financial and emotional boundaries.
• Children benefit from extra stability during the transition.

It may not work well when:

• There’s significant conflict or distrust.
• Financial resources don’t allow for multiple living spaces.