Onward Tips: 5 Essential Need-to-Knows on Divorce

1. Set Realistic Expectations
It’s common for divorcing spouses to have goals that are either overly ambitious or not fully aligned with the legal process, along with timelines that may not reflect the complexity of their situation. If you’re hoping for a swift resolution, it’s important to recognize that the timeline will depend on various factors, including the intricacy of your case, the level of cooperation between both parties, and the specific rules in your jurisdiction. While it may sometimes feel like you’re making progress one moment and then facing setbacks the next, this is part of the process. By understanding these dynamics and preparing for the journey ahead, you’ll be better equipped to navigate the divorce more smoothly, with clearer expectations and a stronger sense of control.

2. Focus on Collaboration and Resolution
It’s natural for emotions to run high as both parties work through difficult feelings. It’s easy to fall into the mindset of “winning” or “defeating” the other person, yet focusing on a cooperative, solution-oriented approach will serve you much better in the long run.

Given the variety of issues needed for resolution, a pragmatic and collaborative approach helps keep things moving forward. A single-minded approach  can complicate matters, leading to unnecessary costs, stress, and potential harm to any children involved.

Letting go of the win-lose mentality is one of the most empowering steps you can take in managing the process. Focus on resolving personal issues through therapy and leaning on your support network, rather than bringing them into the legal process or, even worse, in front of your children. 

3. Prioritize Your Children’s Well-Being
The more parents can keep conflict to a minimum during a divorce, the better it is for the children in the long run. The emotional impact of a high-conflict divorce can affect them well into the future, and can also influence their parental relationships. With this in mind, take a moment to pause before responding in emotionally charged situations—this simple step can help protect everyone involved.

Incorporating the support of a therapist and using co-parenting tools like books, apps, and counseling can also make a positive difference. By keeping the children’s well-being at the forefront of every decision, despite emotions running high, you’re helping to create a healthier environment.

4. Embrace the Process with Patience and Preparation
Every divorce is unique, and while it can be a lengthy process, think of it as a marathon rather than a sprint. There will be paperwork to manage, deadlines to keep track of, and meetings to attend. If your situation involves assets, children, or other complexities, expect a bit more paperwork to navigate.

Staying organized, providing accurate and honest information, and meeting deadlines, are key to keeping things moving efficiently and smoothly. 

5. Build a Strong Support System
Emotional support is essential during challenging times. Knowing you’re not alone can significantly boost your well-being, health, and happiness.